Money and Kids

One of the fun things about being a real estate agent is helping people figure out what they need and want in a home. Unlike most things you buy, your house influences almost every aspect of your lifestyle. Since this is the kind of purchase that, statistically speaking, you're going to live in for several years, plans for the future become a big part of the discussion. Right now, you may be single and just need a 1 bedroom, but wait, you're engaged and planning to marry in a year and what if you have kids? Will two bedrooms work? Do I need a yard? Gosh what about schools? That's a lot of planning to think about. And it comes down to style. Some people are real planners and like to think things through and get a home that will last them for decades. Others live in the moment. They'll jump on something now, knowing they can always move if they need to adjust their lives.

The question of kids comes up. And that's a tough one because kids are so hard to plan for. You think you've got it all set, but when you actually have them, you start to realize that you're likely to make some big changes that you didn't anticipate. What if you decide to work at home? You'll probably need an office. The spare bedroom is supposed to be a nursery. Can you really work out of the kitchen?

And then there's the cost. Kids are expensive, so you may be buying based on two salaries, only to find that one of you will be staying home, or by the time you pay the nanny, you're not going to be able to pay all your bills.

So what is it about kids that make them so darned expensive anyway? Before I had kids, I thought that people must be exaggerating somehow, and now that I have kids, I'm hard pressed to answer that question on the spot. Recently emailing back and forth with a client who may have children down the road the question came up again. He's willing to accept that what everyone says is true, but why? What is it that makes kids cost so much?

Inspired by the question, I came up with a partial list of stuff you'll need when kids jump into your life. See what you think:

Medical care for pregnancy and birth and
Well baby doctor visits and
Health insurance and
Dental care, once they get teeth.
Emergency care for things like broken arms and cuts requiring stitches which always come when you least expect it and are particularly broke. (My older one had hernia surgery at 3 months, stitches in her forehead at 1 1/2, broke her elbow at 4 and needed an anesthesiologist for dental work at 5. My younger one thankfully has not had these troubles. So far. She's only 4. She's got time.)
Baby clothes & shoes: 2 - 3 outfits a day due to leaky diapers and spit up and food spills. New clothes every 3 months the first year, then again at 18 months. From 2 years old on, at least once a year. In this time shoe sizes go from 0 to about 8. That's a lot of shoes!
Double or triple laundry bills because of the above.
Toiletries: Special baby (and kid) lotions creams, shampoos, soaps
Dishware: unbreakable cups and plates, sippy cups of different sorts, baby sized forks and spoons.
Car seats: rear facing for up to 1 year old and 20 lbs. Front facing from then up to 2 years old and 30-40 lbs, then boosters for 2-4 years, 4-8 years or 80 lbs.
Transportation: back and forth to well baby check ups, sitters, daycare, preschool. You may discover that you need a car if you don't have one, or another car if you have only one or a bigger car if your car is small. (It's possible to resist. I drove a 4 passenger New Beetle until this summer. There's a story there, maybe for another post.)
More car seats: If you have more than one car you'll likely want car seats for each. One experience of your partner driving off with the car seats and being stuck with somewhere to go and no car seats will be enough to convince.
Childcare: bare minimum babysitting if you ever want to go out together again. Just double however much dinner and a movie is costing you these days. Nannies run about $12 hour. Daycare/preschool in this area costs $900/ month and up.
Birthday presents for friend's babies birthday parties!
Birthday parties! Do the math. You will come out ahead if you skip these and just buy your kid the presents they'd get.
Grandma and Grandpa will want to visit -- a lot, so you'll need extra food for them. They may make up for it by providing babysitting, but there are no guarantees!
Learning and enrichment supplies: toys, books, musical instruments, and -- dare I say it ?-- DVDs
Furniture: for sleeping you'll likely want a bassinet for 0-6 months, a crib for 6-2 1/2 ish, some go for a toddler bed (crib size), then a twin size bed, (plus sheets and blankets for each size). Then you'll want a high chair, booster, toy chest, bookshelves chest of drawers, changing table, and potty chair at some point.
Classes: Parent/tot classes like wiggle worms, music together, tumbling.

And don't forget the Halloween costumes! Did I ever spend a fortune of time and effort on making costumes. I may even think it was worth it once I catch up on some sleep. Happy Halloween!