One of the fun things about being a real estate agent is helping people figure out what they need and want in a home. Unlike most things you buy, your house influences almost every aspect of your lifestyle. Since this is the kind of purchase that, statistically speaking, you're going to live in for several years, plans for the future become a big part of the discussion. Right now, you may be single and just need a 1 bedroom, but wait, you're engaged and planning to marry in a year and what if you have kids? Will two bedrooms work? Do I need a yard? Gosh what about schools? That's a lot of planning to think about. And it comes down to style. Some people are real planners and like to think things through and get a home that will last them for decades. Others live in the moment. They'll jump on something now, knowing they can always move if they need to adjust their lives.
The question of kids comes up. And that's a tough one because kids are so hard to plan for. You think you've got it all set, but when you actually have them, you start to realize that you're likely to make some big changes that you didn't anticipate. What if you decide to work at home? You'll probably need an office. The spare bedroom is supposed to be a nursery. Can you really work out of the kitchen?
And then there's the cost. Kids are expensive, so you may be buying based on two salaries, only to find that one of you will be staying home, or by the time you pay the nanny, you're not going to be able to pay all your bills.
So what is it about kids that make them so darned expensive anyway? Before I had kids, I thought that people must be exaggerating somehow, and now that I have kids, I'm hard pressed to answer that question on the spot. Recently emailing back and forth with a client who may have children down the road the question came up again. He's willing to accept that what everyone says is true, but why? What is it that makes kids cost so much?
Inspired by the question, I came up with a partial list of stuff you'll need when kids jump into your life. See what you think:
Medical care for pregnancy and birth and
Well baby doctor visits and
Health insurance and
Dental care, once they get teeth.
Emergency care for things like broken arms and cuts requiring stitches which always come when you least expect it and are particularly broke. (My older one had hernia surgery at 3 months, stitches in her forehead at 1 1/2, broke her elbow at 4 and needed an anesthesiologist for dental work at 5. My younger one thankfully has not had these troubles. So far. She's only 4. She's got time.)
Baby clothes & shoes: 2 - 3 outfits a day due to leaky diapers and spit up and food spills. New clothes every 3 months the first year, then again at 18 months. From 2 years old on, at least once a year. In this time shoe sizes go from 0 to about 8. That's a lot of shoes!
Double or triple laundry bills because of the above.
Toiletries: Special baby (and kid) lotions creams, shampoos, soaps
Dishware: unbreakable cups and plates, sippy cups of different sorts, baby sized forks and spoons.
Car seats: rear facing for up to 1 year old and 20 lbs. Front facing from then up to 2 years old and 30-40 lbs, then boosters for 2-4 years, 4-8 years or 80 lbs.
Transportation: back and forth to well baby check ups, sitters, daycare, preschool. You may discover that you need a car if you don't have one, or another car if you have only one or a bigger car if your car is small. (It's possible to resist. I drove a 4 passenger New Beetle until this summer. There's a story there, maybe for another post.)
More car seats: If you have more than one car you'll likely want car seats for each. One experience of your partner driving off with the car seats and being stuck with somewhere to go and no car seats will be enough to convince.
Childcare: bare minimum babysitting if you ever want to go out together again. Just double however much dinner and a movie is costing you these days. Nannies run about $12 hour. Daycare/preschool in this area costs $900/ month and up.
Birthday presents for friend's babies birthday parties!
Birthday parties! Do the math. You will come out ahead if you skip these and just buy your kid the presents they'd get.
Grandma and Grandpa will want to visit -- a lot, so you'll need extra food for them. They may make up for it by providing babysitting, but there are no guarantees!
Learning and enrichment supplies: toys, books, musical instruments, and -- dare I say it ?-- DVDs
Furniture: for sleeping you'll likely want a bassinet for 0-6 months, a crib for 6-2 1/2 ish, some go for a toddler bed (crib size), then a twin size bed, (plus sheets and blankets for each size). Then you'll want a high chair, booster, toy chest, bookshelves chest of drawers, changing table, and potty chair at some point.
Classes: Parent/tot classes like wiggle worms, music together, tumbling.
And don't forget the Halloween costumes! Did I ever spend a fortune of time and effort on making costumes. I may even think it was worth it once I catch up on some sleep. Happy Halloween!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
My Pet Worm
Right away I'll admit I'm into unconventional pets. I have allergies, see. I spent my entire childhood with pet cats and a constant stuffy nose. Age has not made those allergies any better. As much as I love my kitties, I love breathing even more, so cats are out.
Dogs though, dogs are so much work with dependence on you for multiple daily walks and potty breaks on the lawn. Until recently, I haven't had the lifestyle that would make having a dog a possibility. And the trouble is, my favorite breeds are the short coated, shedding, allergy causing kinds.
But then I'm a committed animal lover, so I have to have pets. I solve this problem by having pets that are 1) out of the house, like the horse and pony, or 2) not furry, like the bird, the fish, the turtles and the lizard or 3) keep their furry allergen covered bodies in a contained area, like our pet rats. Dogs and cats usually get free run of the house, so if I start having allergy issues, I've got nowhere to go but outside. With the rats, as long as they're in the kids' bedroom, I can pop in for a quick snuggle and leave the room for some breathable air.
Now I have to admit that, technically, many of the pets are my daughters', but since I'm the one that does oh, roughly 90% of the pet care, I feel I can claim some ownership. I guess the truth is that I'm just an unpaid hired hand. Or is that slave? Do they have that in the Webster's Dictionary definition of "mother?"
And then there's the green living issue. Pets make a lot of waste. There's pet bedding and of course the... um... excrement. You have to get rid of that. The rats I've got recycled newspaper pellets for bedding. You can flush that, so much as it wastes water, at least it doesn't end up in a landfill somewhere. The lizard lives on a bed of ground walnut shells. That can go in the compost pile. The bird cage is a problem. I line that with old newspaper. At least I'm reusing something, but then I just roll the paper up, seed hulls, bits of fruit and veggies, excrement and all and toss it in the garbage.
That's got to change.
This brings me to my first project as a Chicago Conservation Corp leader: Vermiculture. I want to get the neighborhood doing vermiculture.
"What -i- culture?" you may ask. Vermi = Worms. You can create a composter where worms do the work for you. They work faster that traditional compost, you keep them in the basement where they don't freeze so they can work year 'round and the worms can eat things that you can't (or shouldn't) put in the backyard composter like newspaper and meat scraps.
Yuck, I know, but so easy and that yuck factor is something kids can get into. All you do is shred up some newspaper toss in some worms and some food scraps and the little wigglers eat it all up. In return you get worm castings (another word for manure... but we like to call it compost.) That's a terrific a terrific fertilizer for your garden.
I'll be pulling together a group to spread the word. Any takers?
Dogs though, dogs are so much work with dependence on you for multiple daily walks and potty breaks on the lawn. Until recently, I haven't had the lifestyle that would make having a dog a possibility. And the trouble is, my favorite breeds are the short coated, shedding, allergy causing kinds.
But then I'm a committed animal lover, so I have to have pets. I solve this problem by having pets that are 1) out of the house, like the horse and pony, or 2) not furry, like the bird, the fish, the turtles and the lizard or 3) keep their furry allergen covered bodies in a contained area, like our pet rats. Dogs and cats usually get free run of the house, so if I start having allergy issues, I've got nowhere to go but outside. With the rats, as long as they're in the kids' bedroom, I can pop in for a quick snuggle and leave the room for some breathable air.
Now I have to admit that, technically, many of the pets are my daughters', but since I'm the one that does oh, roughly 90% of the pet care, I feel I can claim some ownership. I guess the truth is that I'm just an unpaid hired hand. Or is that slave? Do they have that in the Webster's Dictionary definition of "mother?"
And then there's the green living issue. Pets make a lot of waste. There's pet bedding and of course the... um... excrement. You have to get rid of that. The rats I've got recycled newspaper pellets for bedding. You can flush that, so much as it wastes water, at least it doesn't end up in a landfill somewhere. The lizard lives on a bed of ground walnut shells. That can go in the compost pile. The bird cage is a problem. I line that with old newspaper. At least I'm reusing something, but then I just roll the paper up, seed hulls, bits of fruit and veggies, excrement and all and toss it in the garbage.
That's got to change.
This brings me to my first project as a Chicago Conservation Corp leader: Vermiculture. I want to get the neighborhood doing vermiculture.
"What -i- culture?" you may ask. Vermi = Worms. You can create a composter where worms do the work for you. They work faster that traditional compost, you keep them in the basement where they don't freeze so they can work year 'round and the worms can eat things that you can't (or shouldn't) put in the backyard composter like newspaper and meat scraps.
Yuck, I know, but so easy and that yuck factor is something kids can get into. All you do is shred up some newspaper toss in some worms and some food scraps and the little wigglers eat it all up. In return you get worm castings (another word for manure... but we like to call it compost.) That's a terrific a terrific fertilizer for your garden.
I'll be pulling together a group to spread the word. Any takers?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Sleep Deprivation as Art
I did it! I lost some sleep -- OK, I lost a lot of sleep, but I made my kids' halloween costumes. Yes, it's a little early, thank goodness, or my kids would probably go out in painted paper bags. I like when I have a pre-deadline deadline. In this case, it was a costume party at my horse stable. (Well, it's not mine exactly. It's where my horse lives. I know! I know! That needs some explaining, but I'll have to get to that another day.)
I mentioned before that I'm an artist, right? Yes, I'm a Realtor® too, which is an art in a way, or at least you can bring a lot of creativity to it. I have no choice. I live and breathe art and it slips into everything I do. I've always drawn, painted, or sculpted using various paints on paper or canvas, paper mache, clay -- anything I could get my hands on. I even did a winter scene out of toilet paper and glue when I was 9. Embarrassing but true. Adult artists call this using "found materials." I became a professional about 15 years ago, and since then have been doing freelance illustration for children's publication's and, when I'm lucky, advertising. I did a really fun job for IKEA 2 years ago. My art appeared on a full page in the newspaper in four North American cities. I still freelance a few jobs a year. I got started in real estate with mural painting, then investing and remodeling, so adding agent to the mix was a logical step.
So what does that have to do with Halloween costumes? To me sewing is an art form. Way back when I was a kid I got into "soft sculpture." My first project as a 12 year old was an alligator. In high school I made an 4 foot tall ogre out of woolly tan fabric with wiggly, foam rubber stuffing, beady metallic eyes and big pointy clay teeth. He was very popular with the boys. They liked tossing him around on the bus or walking with his arms over their shoulders. I made my first kid's costume before I even had kids of my own. My little then 4 year old cousin made an adorable frog with big bulgy eyes coming out of the top of his head... OK it looked better than it sounds. Little kids have such great stuffed animal like proportions they can make just about anything look cute.
After that my costumes helped my daughter turn into a kangaroo, the classic witch with pointy foam rubber hat, a brown mouse and, last year, she was Eowyn from the Lord of the Rings. Making the helmet was great fun. I even made leather like gauntlets and epaulets out of fun foam. She looked very cool. My younger one wore the hand me down costumes until last year when I made her a dolphin. This year it was husky dogs. Both girls wanted to be husky dogs.
I get a bit carried away. I can't just use a pattern that I find... no. I have to start with sketches and draw pattern pieces on old newspaper. So 'round the clock from Friday afternoon through the wee hours of Saturday morning, covered in flying fluffs of faux fur, I cut and adjusted and reshaped first newspaper, then doll sized, then people sized pieces of fabric. Sculpting is what I was doing. It was fun and exhausting. Working like that is such a mixed bag. You're tired and having trouble thinking straight, but hours of uninterrupted work time are so refreshing. Once you have little kids, through the night is often the only way you can get that kind of time.
As the dark of night brightened to the light of dawn, I sat hunched over the sewing machine making curly tails. My partner brought me some breakfast -- tea and toast -- which sat untouched as I pinned and stitched. I looked up and realized I only had an hour to go. I had to leave to host an open house in Lincoln Park. A busy one too it turned out. So I whipped that last few pieces together, threw them into a pile with a supply of safety pins for attaching things that didn't get sewn on, cleaned up, changed my clothes and headed to that open.
I made it to the open house with just a few minor struggles with parking. Lincoln Park, has to be the most popular neighborhood in all of Chicago and parking is a nightmare! I decompressed as I sat in a beautiful condo in a vintage high rise for two hours, hopefully not babbling incoherently at the poor innocent people who came by to see the place. They were there to see the condo, not me, so they seemed happy enough.
After the open I headed home through traffic that reflected the huge numbers of people out enjoying yet another unseasonably warm October Saturday. I stopped home, grabbed the costumes and the kids, making sure I had the safety pins, and flew back into the car to enjoy more 'let's get out and enjoy this unseasonably warm Saturday' traffic.
By the time I got there, I only had fifteen minutes to get the kids and the pony into their costumes. Safety pins and fur flew in all directions as I attached tails and ears and hustled the kids over to the barn, only to find the pony soaking wet. Another girl had given her a bath for the horse show. What can you do? I popped on the bridle, stuffed her tail into the dog tail I'd sewn for her, sat the kids on her back, popped big fur dog ears over her little pony ears and off we went. They won 'cutest,' got a big blue sparkly ribbon and a bucket of candy and prizes. Life is good.
When we got home, I went straight to bed.
I mentioned before that I'm an artist, right? Yes, I'm a Realtor® too, which is an art in a way, or at least you can bring a lot of creativity to it. I have no choice. I live and breathe art and it slips into everything I do. I've always drawn, painted, or sculpted using various paints on paper or canvas, paper mache, clay -- anything I could get my hands on. I even did a winter scene out of toilet paper and glue when I was 9. Embarrassing but true. Adult artists call this using "found materials." I became a professional about 15 years ago, and since then have been doing freelance illustration for children's publication's and, when I'm lucky, advertising. I did a really fun job for IKEA 2 years ago. My art appeared on a full page in the newspaper in four North American cities. I still freelance a few jobs a year. I got started in real estate with mural painting, then investing and remodeling, so adding agent to the mix was a logical step.
So what does that have to do with Halloween costumes? To me sewing is an art form. Way back when I was a kid I got into "soft sculpture." My first project as a 12 year old was an alligator. In high school I made an 4 foot tall ogre out of woolly tan fabric with wiggly, foam rubber stuffing, beady metallic eyes and big pointy clay teeth. He was very popular with the boys. They liked tossing him around on the bus or walking with his arms over their shoulders. I made my first kid's costume before I even had kids of my own. My little then 4 year old cousin made an adorable frog with big bulgy eyes coming out of the top of his head... OK it looked better than it sounds. Little kids have such great stuffed animal like proportions they can make just about anything look cute.
After that my costumes helped my daughter turn into a kangaroo, the classic witch with pointy foam rubber hat, a brown mouse and, last year, she was Eowyn from the Lord of the Rings. Making the helmet was great fun. I even made leather like gauntlets and epaulets out of fun foam. She looked very cool. My younger one wore the hand me down costumes until last year when I made her a dolphin. This year it was husky dogs. Both girls wanted to be husky dogs.
I get a bit carried away. I can't just use a pattern that I find... no. I have to start with sketches and draw pattern pieces on old newspaper. So 'round the clock from Friday afternoon through the wee hours of Saturday morning, covered in flying fluffs of faux fur, I cut and adjusted and reshaped first newspaper, then doll sized, then people sized pieces of fabric. Sculpting is what I was doing. It was fun and exhausting. Working like that is such a mixed bag. You're tired and having trouble thinking straight, but hours of uninterrupted work time are so refreshing. Once you have little kids, through the night is often the only way you can get that kind of time.
As the dark of night brightened to the light of dawn, I sat hunched over the sewing machine making curly tails. My partner brought me some breakfast -- tea and toast -- which sat untouched as I pinned and stitched. I looked up and realized I only had an hour to go. I had to leave to host an open house in Lincoln Park. A busy one too it turned out. So I whipped that last few pieces together, threw them into a pile with a supply of safety pins for attaching things that didn't get sewn on, cleaned up, changed my clothes and headed to that open.
I made it to the open house with just a few minor struggles with parking. Lincoln Park, has to be the most popular neighborhood in all of Chicago and parking is a nightmare! I decompressed as I sat in a beautiful condo in a vintage high rise for two hours, hopefully not babbling incoherently at the poor innocent people who came by to see the place. They were there to see the condo, not me, so they seemed happy enough.
After the open I headed home through traffic that reflected the huge numbers of people out enjoying yet another unseasonably warm October Saturday. I stopped home, grabbed the costumes and the kids, making sure I had the safety pins, and flew back into the car to enjoy more 'let's get out and enjoy this unseasonably warm Saturday' traffic.
By the time I got there, I only had fifteen minutes to get the kids and the pony into their costumes. Safety pins and fur flew in all directions as I attached tails and ears and hustled the kids over to the barn, only to find the pony soaking wet. Another girl had given her a bath for the horse show. What can you do? I popped on the bridle, stuffed her tail into the dog tail I'd sewn for her, sat the kids on her back, popped big fur dog ears over her little pony ears and off we went. They won 'cutest,' got a big blue sparkly ribbon and a bucket of candy and prizes. Life is good.
When we got home, I went straight to bed.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sleepless in Chicago
I may be losing a lot of sleep this week. As I mentioned in the last post, I'm about as busy as I've ever been, so if I'm going to fit this in, it's going to be during the sleeping hours. You see it's Halloween time and I've got to make some costumes. Not just any costumes, mind you. No! I've got to spend hours and hours designing and modifying patterns and discovering the best fabrics and materials to make my kids into the dog or the mouse or the cat or the warrior queen they want to be this year. Then comes the cutting and stitching and sculpting and gluing and trying on and adjusting and back to the table for more cutting and stitching and sculpting and gluing until occasionally it's perfect, but more often I'm out of time and I pop the kids into their costumes and they promptly stomp in a mud puddle or something.
It may seem strange, but I really enjoy the process. It could be I'm into pain, but I prefer to think that I'm innately creative and the process of making something out of piles of fur and glue and clay fires me up enough to make it all worth doing.
That, and I work best when I'm up against a deadline. No deadline and I can drag things on for years. I recently painted a portrait of a friend's daughter and her horse. I asked my friend when she wanted it done and she said, "Oh, don't worry about that." 6 months later, I saw what was coming. I begged for a deadline! She said, no no. It's fine. Whenever. 2 years later, with her kid at least 5 inches taller and the horse long since sold to someone in Florida, I finally deliver that painting. She loves it, but it made her miss her old horse.
Now Michael, my partner, is a planner. Deadlines make him edgy, but he can live with them. With no deadline he shines. He picks a project and works on it daily without fail over weeks, months or years even. Very impressive.
Maybe it'll rub off.
It may seem strange, but I really enjoy the process. It could be I'm into pain, but I prefer to think that I'm innately creative and the process of making something out of piles of fur and glue and clay fires me up enough to make it all worth doing.
That, and I work best when I'm up against a deadline. No deadline and I can drag things on for years. I recently painted a portrait of a friend's daughter and her horse. I asked my friend when she wanted it done and she said, "Oh, don't worry about that." 6 months later, I saw what was coming. I begged for a deadline! She said, no no. It's fine. Whenever. 2 years later, with her kid at least 5 inches taller and the horse long since sold to someone in Florida, I finally deliver that painting. She loves it, but it made her miss her old horse.
Now Michael, my partner, is a planner. Deadlines make him edgy, but he can live with them. With no deadline he shines. He picks a project and works on it daily without fail over weeks, months or years even. Very impressive.
Maybe it'll rub off.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
It's Busy Being Green
I am now possibly the busiest I have been in my whole life. No scratch the possibly. Make that definitely. It's been a lot of fun. Sometimes it seems that the more you do, the more you can do. That's a paraphrase of a popular quote I've seen attributed to a half dozen people. I tracked it down and it turns out it's Lucille Ball who said it. What she really said is, "If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do." Pretty smart. I guess she just played the ditzy lady on TV.
It is so true. I've been amazed at what I've been able to accomplish lately. On top of getting the kids back into the swing of school, volunteering there, firing up the real estate career and taking 2 real estate classes and the children's book illustration projects I have going, I've been taking and have just completed my C3 (Chicago Conservation Corps) Leadership training.
I'll miss seeing all those motivated people every week. I made a lot of good connections. Some of them will last for years, I'm sure -- but now that I have a little more time, will I lose the fire? Could the drive to get things done go out? That training took up most of every Saturday for 5 weeks, so it's possible that I'll have a lot more time now, but then, I have a project to start.
I have about a dozen I'd like to take on, but I'm having trouble deciding where to start. I thought I'd take a look at what some of the other C3 leaders are up to. So today, just 24 hours after completing my training, I took some time to stop by a river restoration site. It was a spontaneous thing. I was driving my kids home from their gymnastics class. I'd taken a different route and found myself sitting at a stoplight at Damen and Berteau. As I sat there idling, I looked up at the street sign and remembered what my C3 classmate Graham had talked about as his project: a river beautification that included reintroduction of native plants. Graham had said that the site was already beautiful, so without a word to my kids, I turned left and drove to the river.
They we're a bit confused when I pulled them out of the car in unfamiliar territory saying, "Let's go explore!" But that's the kind of direction kids particularly like getting from their parents, so just a few questions and a lot of forward motion followed. That in itself is a beautiful thing, and it complimented the ever more beautiful scene we enjoyed as we drew closer to the river. Little songbirds flitted between the fading flowers. We saw splashes of color here and there among the green and brown of the fall flowers and grasses, beautiful textures of myriad seedheads, colorful beetles hanging out on milkweed pods before we even got to the river's edge. On the water we saw a dozen mallards quacking loudly at a group of people who were canoeing our way, hound dog in the prow howling her joy at being out in the "wild." We worked our way up toward Montrose along tree lined, wood chipped paths with rustic little handmade fences, saw people walking their dogs and a young couple just out enjoying the scene. We had a terrific time and we didn't have to drive for an hour to see it either.
And isn't that one example of what's so great about Chicago? We have a great city here. Green it. Explore it. I can help.
It is so true. I've been amazed at what I've been able to accomplish lately. On top of getting the kids back into the swing of school, volunteering there, firing up the real estate career and taking 2 real estate classes and the children's book illustration projects I have going, I've been taking and have just completed my C3 (Chicago Conservation Corps) Leadership training.
I'll miss seeing all those motivated people every week. I made a lot of good connections. Some of them will last for years, I'm sure -- but now that I have a little more time, will I lose the fire? Could the drive to get things done go out? That training took up most of every Saturday for 5 weeks, so it's possible that I'll have a lot more time now, but then, I have a project to start.
I have about a dozen I'd like to take on, but I'm having trouble deciding where to start. I thought I'd take a look at what some of the other C3 leaders are up to. So today, just 24 hours after completing my training, I took some time to stop by a river restoration site. It was a spontaneous thing. I was driving my kids home from their gymnastics class. I'd taken a different route and found myself sitting at a stoplight at Damen and Berteau. As I sat there idling, I looked up at the street sign and remembered what my C3 classmate Graham had talked about as his project: a river beautification that included reintroduction of native plants. Graham had said that the site was already beautiful, so without a word to my kids, I turned left and drove to the river.
They we're a bit confused when I pulled them out of the car in unfamiliar territory saying, "Let's go explore!" But that's the kind of direction kids particularly like getting from their parents, so just a few questions and a lot of forward motion followed. That in itself is a beautiful thing, and it complimented the ever more beautiful scene we enjoyed as we drew closer to the river. Little songbirds flitted between the fading flowers. We saw splashes of color here and there among the green and brown of the fall flowers and grasses, beautiful textures of myriad seedheads, colorful beetles hanging out on milkweed pods before we even got to the river's edge. On the water we saw a dozen mallards quacking loudly at a group of people who were canoeing our way, hound dog in the prow howling her joy at being out in the "wild." We worked our way up toward Montrose along tree lined, wood chipped paths with rustic little handmade fences, saw people walking their dogs and a young couple just out enjoying the scene. We had a terrific time and we didn't have to drive for an hour to see it either.
And isn't that one example of what's so great about Chicago? We have a great city here. Green it. Explore it. I can help.
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